I'm just not doing it in the ways that I prefer.
Maybe I'm just over the angsty poetry, and I need to stop comparing myself to that. But anyway I think I will have more free time in the future. My business is not progressing at the speed that I had hoped it would, but I did nothing to help myself in thinking that it needs to pick up right now in order for me to quit my soul draining day job. It's just not going to happen right now, and I think I am finally okay with that.
I need to focus on cooking and teaching myself how to keep a house. It's been years and years since I had someone show me how to do these things. Cooking and cleaning and keeping our house nice is very important, and why would I want to neglect these things in favor of further depressing myself into not feeling the motivation/need/drive to work on my business? So what if I can't live off of just that for right now? If anything it will have given me experience for when I publish my [future] novels and market them myself.
Now that would be the life. I would much rather be living off of my writing money than my jewelry business. I can see it now: early morning before the world is awake. Sitting on my deck when the sun is just poking up through the clouds. Drinking coffee. Company by candlelight. Pen and paper or lap top.
That's the life I want.
