We are getting our first house. Our own personal space after celebrating our 1st wedding anniversary last week. Money will be tight, and the house will be empty, but we will have each other on a completely different level. And I get the chance to prove that I can run my business...I haven't felt that I could work/deal with it for a long time now. I will have my own room dedicated to making jewelry, accessories, cards, collage, and etc. I can paint the walls green! Johnny Depp can keep me company.
I have a lot of faith that moving will change everything. I will go from just getting through the day to doing laundry, cooking for 2, and cleaning as well as maintaining and building a business. We will be, liek, adults now. Who would've thought (thunk)?
Will I ever get back to writing? Will this move inspire the long dwindling spark? Only time can tell, and dammit I want it now. We looked at another house. It was on the lake with a private dock and a little fire pit. I imagined myself laying on the dock at night with a fire burning and just writing. Now I can picture myself typing on the bare carpet of the new living room...or maybe even on the steps in the garage. I will find my designated spot.
[...]
It's upsetting, and it seems unreal when you are suddenly shrouded in darkness when all there is is everything you have not yet engaged. To be sad over a vast and vague combination of reasons inside of a subtle intensity...where does one go to catch a breath? Confused and lackluster. We choose to abstain the connection to our outer identities and inner intentions...to live in an unknown chaos continuously and silently...while time passes by day after day. Your looks fade, and your mind grows tired...and the next thing you know when you try to open your eyes you are staring back at a stranger. Why does time disappear in the sweetest moments of our lives? Why are we left pondering in the shadows of a minutes passed?